You Are Not Alone - Depression in Acceptable Mouthfuls

You Are Not Alone

Life is not fair. Life is not a Dream. Life is not a Fantasy. It is Subjective & Unjustified. Why is one person doing so well & one failing to the point of Suicide, or why are you doing so well, while someone who is sharing this planet with you wants to “check-out”; to find out if God really exists?

What life (I have found), is beautiful in its simplicity, and I figure that the reason for the incredible success in Social Media is the simplicity that at any time, you or anyone else can “go online” and find out that you are not alone.

Depression is a very misunderstood illness. I don’t understand it, any more than you, and I’ve had it for a quarter of a century; been hospitalized more times than I can honestly remember. I have been that guy with drug addictions and the alcohol abuse, but it’s an easy thing to lie in bed and say “no more”. The hard part is getting out of the bed and just doing. But!!! & this is the big thing… You do not have to prove anything to anybody but yourself, and you do not have to do one God-damn thing that you don’t want to – EVER! But you have the responsibility to do one thing absolutely, and that is accepting the fact that you have it.

Depression Broken Into Acceptable Pieces

Ø  Introduction

Ø  Recognizing Symptoms

Ø  Forms of Depression

Ø  Assessing Male-Specific Depression

Ø  Treatment for Depression

Ø  Conclusion

Introduction

     We all feel a little sad sometimes, but in true Orwellian fashion, some of us become sadder than others. Sadness is relative in perspective, just as a religious practice, or a social practice has to be accepted across cultures, so do we have to consider cross-social definitions and boundaries when it comes to an illness such as depression. The following is an analysis and summary of three sources that I have researched, and attempted to make understandable to the layman, but there is some terminology and data that, without destroying its impact, could not have been “dumbed-down”.

  

Recognizing Symptoms

     As a person who has had to live with depression for virtually his entire adult life, recognizing the symptoms of depression is still a formidable task at the best of times. In Wendy Moragne’s book, Depression (p 30-31) she explains – and I have to concur – that there are nine generally accepted signs for recognizing depression:

1.      Feelings of frustration, irritability, sadness, or anger.

2.       Loss of interest in activities that were once enjoyable.

3.      Significant increases or decreases in appetite and weight.

4.      Insomnia and/or sleeping too much.

5.      Restlessness, fidgeting, or experiencing slowed movements.

6.      Feeling tired and lacking in energy.

7.      Feeling worthless or guilty.

8.      Having difficulty thinking, concentrating, or decision-making.

9.      Having repeated thoughts of death or suicide.

 Symptoms Lasting Two Weeks or Longer

% Of Men Reporting (n=8311)

% Of Women Reporting (n=10,971)

Dysphoria

23.50

35.70

Thoughts of Death

22.80

33.00

Changes in Appetite

18.80

28.50

Changes in Sleep Habits

18.30

27.00

Fatigue

11.60

19.90

Diminished Concentration

10.80

16.70

Guilt

8.60

12.30

Psychomotor Dysfunction

7.90

10.20

Loss of Interest

3.40

6.80

Forms of Depression

     When a person is diagnosed with depression, it is important to correctly identify the type of depression that the person has. In Moragne’s book Depression (p 27-28), there are several forms of depression discussed, and each one appears to have its own level of severity. It is now that I would like to point out that when a person is depressed, the only thing that is foremost on their mind is getting better. Therefore, I should say that there really are not any levels of seriousness from one person’s illness to another’s, as each case is unique and requires its own form of diagnosis and treatment.

These are the recognized forms of depression:

1.      Major Depression – includes the symptoms mentioned above. These symptoms interfere with everyday functioning.

2.      Dysthymia – is a milder form of depression that can last a very long time, sometimes even years. Some young people who suffer Dysthymia go on to develop major depression or Bipolar Disorder.

3.      Bipolar Disorder – is a disorder where patients experience mood swings. These alternate from moments of sheer elation to points of major depression.

4.      Atypical Depression – is associated with people who are generally extremely sensitive to rejection. Symptoms also tend to be chronic in nature.

5.      Seasonal Affective Disorder – seems to be related to seasonal changes, as well as changes in levels of sunlight.

A diagnosis of depression is not a death sentence, if it is properly diagnosed – IN TIME. In a recent study, life-long symptoms of reported depression ran the gamut of the symptoms mentioned earlier in section two – Recognizing Symptoms. Below summarizes these symptoms:

·         Symptoms Lasting Two Weeks or Longer

·         Dysphoria

·         Thoughts of Death

·         Changes in Appetite

·         Changes in Sleep Habits

·         Fatigue

·         Diminished Concentration

·         Guilt

·         Psychomotor Dysfunction

·         Loss of Interest

     Males are more likely than Females, not to report their feelings of depression to clinicians. However, the specific symptoms that were most frequently reported were the same for men and women. So, if the depression is reported, and subsequently diagnosed, it can be treated, but what methods are currently available?

Treatment for Depression

     Depression has often been linked with an array of biological factors. These scientifically concluded assumptions have been reached because of the recent advances in the treatment of depression with newer, more effective anti-depressants. These recent advances in include relatively fewer side effects, as compared to the multiple side-effects that patients experienced as recent as ten years ago. Medical treatment of men through anti-depressants has shown that it is men who experience, and present the most complaints of side effects.

Conclusion

     There is significance to the sources used in this paper. Finding suitable printed material and legitimate information on the Internet is analogous to finding that one doctor with whom you quite literally put the health of your mind in their hands. These are the most up-to-date, and from my perspective, reliable sources that are available, but the science and treatment of depression is always advancing, and there is always a wealth of information on this very treatable, and most hopefully, socially acceptable, illness.

Remember!!! You need to find the Professional that YOU are comfortable with…

This Thing Named Mercy

This Thing Named Mercy

Spring 2016 – Euthanasia has been legalized for 18 months

Lydia was always an image of joy, and had such an influence on others around her that everyone must have, at one time or another, secretly said to themselves “What a beautiful, adorable young girl”. As her doctor, I felt unique and special bond with Lydia because I was one of the few people who had the good fortune of being there from the very beginning of her life – her life and her death – her eleventh birthday. I also knew the truth that her parents continually ignored – Lydia would never get better, or recover. She was going to die like she was – Bill and Jan’s little baby.

Bill and Jan loved their daughter more than their own lives – this was never the question – it was love unyielding, unrelenting, and without compromise. Nevertheless, the pressure that is always associated with the handle and care of a very ill loved-one was taking a heavy toll on the couple, and they were finding themselves in argument more and more as the days and time went on and past. The days passed relentlessly without mercy for these two people, and after 10 years of marriage, the end of their union was visibly, and fast, approaching – but, not if Jan could have a say in the matter.

The two were becoming increasingly overburdened, and increasingly non-responsive to each other, which had lately started to take on form as sympathetic arguments between Bill and Jan – on behalf of Lydia of course. Bill began to talk of removing Lydia from life-support... "... for the sake of Lydia", was how he would begin making his case. Each time Bill started, Jan knew that he secretly desired to stop the torment of the daily hospital visit where he felt his instinctive fatherly omnipotence sanguinely strangled from him – one tiny 6-year old breath, by one tiny 6-year old breath. For Jan it was simple, she would want whatever her husband wanted – she was focusing on trying to save their marriage – they could have another child, nevertheless, she would always create a new and better argument for keeping Lydia on life-support. It is the nature of Jan-the-giver-and-provider of life to abandon nihilism, and embrace undying hope – the hope that life will remain where there still beats a heart.

Lydia was literally a shadow now. She lay in her hospital bed each day slowly being disintegrated by the cancer that ran through her little frame, but the cancer was being denied the satisfaction of the pain it creates by the drugs running through Lydia’s little body just as fast.

At times, during Bill’s visits to Lydia, he would start suddenly from a light dream state – he nodded off often beside Lydia’s bed. But, these lapses of consciousness led to lapses of reason where the day-mares would most times be about somebody entering Lydia’s room and taking her away from him and Jan. These day-mares made Bill feel as though at any moment a nurse could come in and by simply opening the curtain to shed light, it would be that very light that would make Lydia vanish into oblivion. It would be here that Bill would get up, go to the main floor cafeteria, and buy two or three cups of coffee-to-go.

Several weeks more pass.

It was a beautiful mid-May Sunday morning. The bees had taken the morning off because of the rain that had fallen overnight. The air smelled of jasmine, hyacinths, and lilacs, and I could not think of anything else but little Lydia. I left my downtown ground-floor apartment around 1:30PM, but I had not decided if I would be going to the Children’s Hospital as of yet. My actions would soon dispute and disprove that false assumption.

I had spent most of my day in the stupor and the cloud of my discomforting daydreams. I found myself at the nurse’s station at the hospital about 6:00 PM – a "little" past the supper hour. I had unconsciously made the trek on foot – walking around downtown Toronto’s Younge Street for several hours in an unobstructed and uninterrupted daze. I eventually found myself standing at the front of the downtown International hostel – a big building, a tall building, and then recalled that I was only a block or so away from the Children’s Hospital. I made my way there.

The nurse on duty was polite in that subtle Caribbean way. I commented on her perfume and smile, and then I asked her to please refrain from any interruptions because I was going in to see Lydia Denier and I did not want to be disturbed. She, the nurse, complied with a nod saying, “Yes Karen,” and then showed off her lovely bright disarming smile, but the nod and the smile were both without thought of any kind, and behind her bright glassy eyes was the standoffish manner most nurses take when addressing most doctors, including myself. We are two different pedigrees, but inexorably intertwined because of our positions.

When I entered the room, Lydia looked as peaceful, and as quiet as ever. Her bed faced the window, and the light was at such a level that it caused me to reflect on how focused Lydia’s little face appeared. Her eyes blinked fast, and I pictured her somewhere far away, and this brought to my mind a song by the Irish rock group U2 called Kite, and the particular line, “who’s to say where the wind will take you.”

I reached into my coat and took it out. I tapped it twice and stuck it into Lydia’s intravenous tube, and after the syringe emptied into the tube, I stared at this little girl’s frail arm, and I waited. I watched and waited a lifetime lasting 20 seconds then I knew she was dead.

I did not think at that moment I had a choice, or would I allow myself any chance to ponder the little girl’s fate. I as a doctor, who has been granted the ability to save lives, can also assume that I can also be responsible, and, ethical enough, to make the decision as to when enough is enough.

This… this act of mercy eloquently named Euthanasia, cannot be defined with animal logic, or by non-secular terms, but it could only be treated as it ought to be treated – objectively, and without bias. Nevertheless, Lydia’s face is the last thing I see before I fall asleep, and it is the first thing I see when I awake, but I am able to live with what I have done – there is no sense of wrong or sin.

Diary Of A Madman?: The Manifesto of Christopher Jordan Dorner

Diary Of A Madman?

To View or Download "The Manifesto of Christopher Jordan Dorner": click here.

We've become used to the fact that we live in an imperfect Society. It’s actually the reality of the imperfections that we’ve actually become accustomed to. Be it a Massacre in Newtown, or an Aurora movie theater; the recent “buzz” over Drone strikes abroad, or the fact that the United States has a Veteran suicide rate of 22 Personnel a day. That’s one Service Member every 65 minutes… still hasn’t sunk in… Let me try a little harder... OVER 8000 VETERAN/SERVICE PERSONNEL DEATHS PER YEAR!
It’s just unconscious knowledge that, if what we are told is correct, if we all work hard, tell the truth, then good things will come to those who follow “… a prolonged obedience in one direction.” (Nietzsche: Beyond good and Evil: 1973; Eng trans), but there are some exceptions to this rule apparently.
Christopher Jordan Dorner would like to point out that he is one of those exceptions. He feels outraged, wronged, and there is a manhunt out for this man to stop him before he makes even more examples of his uniqueness to getting “screwed over”.

Quote:

… you who personally know me are in disbelief to hear from media reports that I am suspected of committing such horrendous murders and have taken drastic and shocking actions in the last couple of days. You are saying to yourself that this is completely out of character of the man you knew who always wore a smile wherever he was seen. I know I will be vilified by the LAPD and the media. Unfortunately, this is a necessary evil that I do not enjoy but must partake and complete for substantial change to occur within the LAPD and reclaim my name.

We’ve all heard “what’s in a name”, but C. J. Dorner seems to have convoluted… diluted the sense of the quote to fit a purpose that just seems a little extreme to say the least. He may not lead a country, but he is quite literally a one-man army. He has skill-sets that have the LAPD so on edge that they have been opening fire at Shadows and Grannies.

Quote:

A name is more than just a noun, verb, or adjective. It’s your life, your legacy, your journey, sacrifices, and everything you’ve worked hard for every day of your life as an adolescent, young adult and adult. Don’t let anybody tarnish it when you know you’ve live up to your own set of ethics and personal ethos.

The previously mentioned skill-set is an extensive military background, that includes Counter-Terrorism Training, EOD Training, Sniper Training, Special Teams, and the list of training goes on.

Dorner wrote in his lengthy manifesto:

Quote:

I know your TTPs (techniques, tactics, and procedures). Any threat assessments you generate will be useless. This is simple. I will mitigate all risks, threats and hazards. I assure you that Incident Command Posts will be target rich environments.

Quote:

“He knows what he's doing," L.A. Police Chief Charlie Beck told reporters yesterday "We trained him. He was also a member of the armed forces. It is extremely worrisome and scary, especially for the police officers involved.

Recent incidents, attacks on LAPD, have become a standard bearer for Dorner… stealth, lethality, then attack, and following in the footsteps of his peers, LAPD Riverside Police Chief Sergio Diaz has been provoking Dorner, as the Police Chief called the slaying a "cowardly ambush" and said Dorner is suspected of opening fire with a rifle about 1:30 a.m. Thursday as he pulled up to the officer and his partner at a street light.
This attack, if Dorner’s Manifesto is any indication, is just the beginning of “the end to LAPD’s corruptive policies and actions” towards good, honest, and hard-working law-abiding citizens.
Quote:
...[I've] exhausted all available means at obtaining my name back. I have attempted all legal court efforts within appeals at the Superior Courts and California Appellate courts. This is my last resort. The LAPD has suppressed the truth and it has now led to deadly consequences. The LAPD’s actions have cost me my law enforcement career that began on 2/7/05 and ended on 1/2/09. They cost me my Naval career which started on 4/02 and ends on 2/13. I had a TS/SCI clearance (Top Secret Sensitive Compartmentalized Information clearance) up until shortly after my termination with LAPD. This is the highest clearance a service member can attain other than a Yankee White TS/SCI which is only granted for those working with and around the President/Vice President of the United States. I lost my position as a Commanding Officer of a Naval Security Forces reserve unit at NAS Fallon because of the LAPD. I’ve lost a relationship with my mother and sister because of the LAPD. I’ve lost a relationship with close friends because of the LAPD. In essence, I’ve lost everything because the LAPD took my name and new I was INNOCENT!!! XXXX, XXXX, XXXX, and XXXX all new I was innocent but decided to terminate me so they could continue Ofcr. XXXX. I know about the meeting between all of you where XXXX attorney, XXXX, confessed that she kicked XXXX (excessive force). Your day has come.

Christopher Jordan Dorner is incredibly upset and disturbed… and don’t say “How do you know!!!” I know a person is disturbed when they declare war on Society, and repeatedly say that,

Quote:

Self-Preservation is no longer important to me. I do not fear death as I died long ago on 1/2/09. I was told by my mother that sometimes bad things happen to good people. I refuse to accept that.

I can’t comment at how bad this could get, and I certainly don't agree with Dorner's way of protesting, but if RAMBO, by Sylvester Stallone, is any indication, then LA and the surrounding area is about to become Hope BC all over again.

To View or Download "The Manifesto of Christopher Jordan Dorner click here.